


My Heart the Traitor

by Ladyofwarandmercy



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Irish Coffee, Love Confessions, Nightmares, girl talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 12:45:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2773466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyofwarandmercy/pseuds/Ladyofwarandmercy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 2X10. Skye has been trying her best to hate Grant, so why does she have nightmares about him dying?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart the Traitor

The dream, or rather nightmare, came as it did every early morning. As the temple chamber closed, she turned and saw that an injured Ward had crawled in beside her. He began singing “Daisy Bell” to her. He actually had a pretty nice voice.

_“Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do  
I’m half-crazy over the love of you”_

She heard Ward scream “NO!” as the cocoon built around her, and saw Ward crumble into dust as she broke free. As usual, she woke screaming, to a minor temblor. The walls at the Playground were paper-thin, so she heard Mack on the other side begin to grumble and pound on his adjoining wall to Fitz’s room. “Yep, our 5:30 alarm, bro. On time as usual.” Skye snuggled back under the comforter, but was not at all comforted. The only remedy she could think of involved bullets, so she threw on some clothes, pulled her slightly dirty hair into a ponytail, and headed to the range. She tried to picture the silhouettes as Ward, but when she did, she missed as laughably as the first day Ward put a gun in her hand. She had not noticed the tears streaming down her face until a voice began to sing, 

“Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do  
I’m half-crazy over the love of you—“

Before she knew it, she had turned her weapon towards the door, and an upset Melinda May. Skye startled and lowered her weapon, but May scowled and shook her head. “Okay, for right now you are not fit for duty. Hit the showers and report to the breakfast nook. That’s an order.” Crestfallen, she headed to the showers. Everyone was giving her a wide berth as they were usually doing now. You’d think she was a living earthquake machine, the way people walked on eggshells around her. Oh wait, she actually _was_ a living earthquake machine, now. Forget that these people knew her long before that fateful night in the ancient city and were her friends. _They_ seem to have forgotten. Even Jemma beat feet out of the shower when she got there, and she had nobody to talk to as she showered. She was getting far too used to loneliness, even in a base full of her adopted family.   
As she and May approached the breakfast nook, Mack and Fitz had taken up the whole table with some kind of blueprint. “I’m going to have to ask you two to move,” May said, gruffly, “You are not cleared for the conversation Johnson and I are about to have.” Mac smirked, and took in the bottle of Irish whiskey in May’s left hand. “I guess it’s five-o-clock somewhere.” May rolled her eyes, “Seriously, we need to discuss a classified post-operation debriefing, and its relationship to her recent nightmares. If you are worried about the whiskey, I’ll buy you another bottle.” Mac chuckled, and he and Fitz gathered up the blueprints. “Make it Monopolowa instead, and it’s a deal.” May smiled a bit and nodded. 

May quietly made the two of them the best Irish Coffees Skye had ever tasted, then sat across from her in the breakfast nook, as they nibbled on some scones. “So, tell me about those nightmares.” Skye nodded, “It was just remembering what happened to Trip, May. It was really traumatizing.” May shook her head, “As much as I know you and Trip were friends, his death would not have affected you this badly. Who are you _really_ dreaming about?” Skye broke eye contact and looked towards the floor. “It’s Ward, isn’t it?” Skye nodded sullenly. “I hate him, May. I hate what he did to you, to Fitz, to Simmons, and to Coulson. I don’t know why I can’t stop dreaming it was him in the chamber with me.” May’s expression softened. “The same reason you couldn’t kill him when he gave you a straight shot, and it’s nothing about which to be ashamed. According to the debriefing, Raina said Ward’s motivation was…love. And Ward did not deny it.” Skye set her jaw, “But I am ashamed. Ward is our enemy. He is my enemy. I can’t love him back.” She punctuated with a deep sip of the Irish coffee. May took the glass away, popped up from her seat, and made a second set of Irish coffees. She called down from the coffee machine, “You are not supposed to love him back. There’s a difference between can’t and not supposed to. And the heart can’t give two craps about not supposed to. The opposite of love is indifference, not hate.” “Then I will try to be indifferent.” This caused May to snicker into her coffee. 

“You can’t try to be indifferent. You are indifferent or you are not. And you can’t be indifferent when a certain Grant Ward is involved. And why not? He’s handsome, strong, obviously loves you, and he protected and took care of you at a time in your life when you really needed it. God, I get shivers thinking about the times we exposed you to danger, not realizing who and what you were. Before you could really protect yourself. But we knew Ward would never let you come to harm. At least before he betrayed us. If Ward had never met you, he probably would have picked up where Garrett left off. Now HYDRA’s bounty for him, dead or alive, is twice our bounty. Even now, he’s probably scheming to bring down some threat to you that isn’t even on our radar. Why wouldn’t you love him, too? Not that love is all that logical, you know.”

“So now what, May? Gee, I’m sorry you are brain-damaged, Fitz, but I’m in love with the creep who did this to you? Oh, and too bad he used you, May, but I wuuuuv him? That makes me as big a traitor as he is!” May smiled and shook her head. “It makes you human, Skye. For what it’s worth, HYDRA isn’t any happier with him right now than we are. He and his little buddy are causing them all kinds of trouble. Which is why we aren’t looking for him all that hard. That and what you did and didn’t tell us in your debrief after Puerto Rico. Either your feelings for Grant will subside in time, or they will be…consummated.” Skye poked at the last scone. “He probably wouldn’t want me now. I shot him in the back.” May smiled, “Don’t be so sure. And don’t be so sure we won’t see him or be working with him again. A year ago, I’d be sure we’d never want a thing to do with him. But these are strange days, kid. Strange days indeed.”

Some months later, everything went to Hell in a handbasket…again. This time, SHIELD had found themselves making common cause with a small merc team led by a certain Grant Ward. The morning after a particularly insane incident in Mumbai, May had a text on her phone as she headed to Coulson’s office for debriefing. She quickly stopped in her room, and put together her usual “cocktail” for Skye’s “hangovers” when she pushed her powers too far. Unlike most experts’ advice on the subject, May’s ‘cocktail” was heavier on the fish oil, chocolate, ginkgo, and vitamins, and lighter on the drugs, except for the painkillers. She was not going to have the time to deliver it to Ward’s room, so she enlisted the first team member she could find. “Hey, Leo! Can you run this to Ward’s room? Skye needs this pretty ASAP.” Fitz nodded, and enlisted Jemma’s help to carry pill bottles, bottled waters, and the written instructions. They looked at each other briefly, eyebrows raised. “Well, she’s always had a thing for him,” Jemma shrugged. “I’d be more disapproving if he didn’t keep my brains off the pavement yesterday,” Fitz agreed. May patted Fitz on the cheek. “Let Skye know what you just told me, willya? She’s going to need to hear that from both of you.” And with that, May was down the hall, as Fitz and Simmons ran down to Ward’s room to make their delivery.


End file.
